Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
