I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
