Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't think brook has ever known best
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
