someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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