oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
