it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
