Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
