I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
