if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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