wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Four minutes until I can fart!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
