Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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