At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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