i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
