can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
