i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
