I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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