Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
