Apparently you make a good broom.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
What a dumb baby whore.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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