My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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