Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
