that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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