I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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