so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.