she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove