You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize