bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
