If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
