i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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