i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
