you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
jump out the window naked night went bad
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
