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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.

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