things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.