Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.

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  (515): Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs. (402): but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs. http://tfl.nu/7170
  Replies (9) Good night (3864) Bad night (821)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."

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  (780): I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked." http://tfl.nu/ikiz
  Replies (37) Good night (4989) Bad night (748)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered

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  (+44): Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered http://tfl.nu/4p47
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (4126)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She bit a glass in half.

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  (250): She bit a glass in half. http://tfl.nu/3ugo
  Replies (11) Good night (1432) Bad night (3543)
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  (845): View more from New York

  When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"

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  (845): When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine" http://tfl.nu/u1m0
  Replies (23) Good night (1300) Bad night (3909)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.

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  (902): i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall. http://tfl.nu/6zaz
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (3603)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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  (313): My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission. http://tfl.nu/o1g8
  Replies (9) Good night (4076) Bad night (943)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible

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  (816): I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible http://tfl.nu/v92i
  Replies (3) Good night (2406) Bad night (815)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Stop drinking at work.

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  (402): I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit" (308): Stop drinking at work. http://tfl.nu/v2m5
  Replies (8) Good night (3695) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.

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  (913): Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well. http://tfl.nu/px83
  Replies (4) Good night (1188) Bad night (725)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.

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  (205): High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead. http://tfl.nu/efrd
  Replies (11) Good night (2798) Bad night (818)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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  (540): I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff... http://tfl.nu/wq37
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (1018)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..

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  (484): You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them.. http://tfl.nu/tn7r
  Replies (0) Good night (718) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (877) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...

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  (913): my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball... http://tfl.nu/m00r
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (203)

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