Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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(502): Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!! http://tfl.nu/qcph

Replies (42) Good night (1074) Bad night (20240)
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(949): View more from California

i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.

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(949): i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole. http://tfl.nu/wmi4

Replies (37) Good night (591) Bad night (3095)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.

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(905): I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing. http://tfl.nu/u29p

Replies (16) Good night (1277) Bad night (3557)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?

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(205): Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in? http://tfl.nu/qt1z

Replies (15) Good night (5294) Bad night (888)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.

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(610): Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots. http://tfl.nu/yy52

Replies (75) Good night (1430) Bad night (6240)
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(949): View more from California

im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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(949): im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever http://tfl.nu/2bk7

Replies (28) Good night (4794) Bad night (886)
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(716): View more from New York

i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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(716): i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody. http://tfl.nu/l0aj

Replies (7) Good night (3299) Bad night (785)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks

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(804): i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks http://tfl.nu/m5sm

Replies (24) Good night (815) Bad night (7430)
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(626): View more from California

Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?

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(626): Did they have a limo or was i just stoned? http://tfl.nu/ui6f

Replies (4) Good night (2062) Bad night (1002)
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(541): View more from Oregon

You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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(541): You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize. http://tfl.nu/yage

Replies (5) Good night (2658) Bad night (1032)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.

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(303): Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron. http://tfl.nu/c12y

Replies (4) Good night (1613) Bad night (1484)
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(816): View more from Missouri

It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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(816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o

Replies (1) Good night (1310) Bad night (554)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.

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(443): I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon. http://tfl.nu/atl9

Replies (10) Good night (1996) Bad night (500)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

(231): View more from Michigan

Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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(401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu

Replies (0) Good night (917) Bad night (281)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.

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(443): Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months. http://tfl.nu/088h

Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (582)

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