I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
