I can text with my tongue
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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