the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize