I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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