Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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