Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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