Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
