Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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