I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
either way he was missing a nipple.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
