You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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