We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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