She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
