Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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