Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
