hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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