why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
