I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
