You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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