that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
