sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
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just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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