she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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