OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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