she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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