Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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