ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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