Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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