Cold hands, warm shart.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The best revenge is premature balding
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
