I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
