im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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