I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
