pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
