you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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