I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
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Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize