Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
